"Melee In Madrid!" (written by Grant, Dave and Nick in Dave's basement, 1997)

Melee in Madrid!

Jimmy and Grant drivin' all over town

crashing and a banging and a messing around

smashing into cars down cobblestone lanes

put it in reverse and ram it again

cops say stop but I say no

Jimmy says 'floor it' and away we go!

hookers say 'hi, wanna stop and buy?'

A little later honey, Jimmy zip up your fly!

Won't fit here so slam it into gear

do the Mercedes-Mash while smashing her rear

Hombre says 'carumba' but I don't wanna rumble

let's get outta here or catch some Spanish thunder!

Jimmy and Grant driving all over town

smashing and banging and a messing around

but everything's gonna be alright

cuz we're rockin' in Madrid on a Saturday night!

"Cans Of Love" (written by Dave 1986, revamped backstage at De Verlk, Rotterdam NL 1997)

I saw her on the corner

standing by a garbage can

she reached into the garbage

and pulled out a big chicken

I love you

Cans Of Love

She bit into the breast

juicy and barbeque

everytime I see that chicken

I cannot help but think of you

Cans are filled with pizza

chicken and baclava

the smell it really takes me

to heaven and the stars above

"I Want / Need / Demand Action!" (written by Grant 1997)

I want action!

You want action!

We want action!

Baby I want you

When you walked into the discoteque

I knew you were too hot

cuz all the other men were burning up

as you strutted your sweet foxtrot

because all I want is a little care

and some Saturday attention too

I want action, you want action, we want action, baby I want you!

dancing round the checkered floor

you wouldn't even look my way

all the other guys don't know your game

but I know the rules you play

He needs action

I want action

I need action

I demand action

I want action, you want action, we want action baby I want you!

"Buddy Holly Convention" (written by Grant in Berkeley, 1996)

"What's the deal with the glasses?"

They're our honourary nerd passes

"Are you on the way to the chess club today?"

Everybody make way for the Waldos

with our geek goggles on our nose

"are the Geekenstein Twins coming out today?"

To the Buddy Holly Convention,

Buddy Holly Convention or bust

Bouncing all the way, across the mighty USA

we'll be in Clear Lake Iowa in just two days

then it's down to Lubbock where the Texans all just love us

'cause we look just like their lost son born again

"Hey Woody, Weezer and Elvis,

with the glasses, not the pelvis,

are you on the way to the chess club today?"

"Look, it's Buddy, Buddy and Buddy,

let me be the first to make you bloody,

are you on the way to the convention today?"

chorus

"I Love Spoons" (written by Grant in Wales, 1997)

I

I wanna carve a Love Spoon for you

It's the only thing that'll ever do

a love spoon for you

I'm just new in town,

it's nice of you to show around

to Gower's Point and Mumbles

I hope you don't mid if I spoon with you

It doesn't matter what I carve

a heart, a wheel or the Celtic cross

I want you forever and a day,

but I can't understand what you say

I ain't a sailor and I can't serf

but I know I want you as my turf

I'll meet you at the pub at the half of eight

I'll give you my spoon and be your slave

I love spoons

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