"ROSIE" - Released February 01, 2000. Lp/CD on Mint in Canada, Lookout in the US.  Produced by Kurt Bloch.  Recorded at Mushroom Studios, Vancouver BC from July 28 to August 1, 1999.

Track listing:

1. Rock Thy Neighbour

2. Booze Can

3. Miss Pilgrim

4. I'll Remember

5. Death At Disneyland

6. She's Another Thing

7. Rosie

8. Kings Of The Party

9. Useless Rocker

10. Coffee, Tea Or Me?

11. Teen Mob!

12. Someone

13. Danko Jones' Pants

 

ROCK THY NEIGHBOUR - (written by Nick, 1998)

Rock, rock thy neighbour, you just might be their savoir (chorus)

You gotta rock and roll thy neighbour,

you just might be their savoir

wipe the tears from your eyes it's not the end of the world

I'm a boy and I think you're a girl

chorus

Shakin' is his profession

this mission is his obession

the host named Christ is doin' the twist

and fueling your next confession baby

chorus

We'll sock it to the whole congregation

we'll make a united nation

well maybe not, let's give it a shot!

Guitars! Battle stations!

Crank it!

BOOZE CAN - (written by Beez, 1997)

Booze can!

I'm looking left, I'm looking right

I don't see a drink in sight

I need a man, a booze can

to fix up this bad hand

Do you know what time it is?

If you want to get inside my love?

Oh baby do you know what time it is?

If you want to get inside? (chorus)

I'm looking north, I'm looking south

stupid crap coming out of my mouth

I need a man, a booze can

to fix up this bad hand

chorus

If you want to get into the show,

oh baby baby then you gotta know!

I'm looking near, I'm looking far

The Beauticians at the Beauty Bar

I need a man, a booze can

To fix up this bad hand

MISS PILGRIM - (written by Nick, 1999)

Miss July 1955 I need someone to blame

The girl next door gets naked hey it's Charlene Drain!

Where's my Miss Pilgrim?

It stays the same

'Playmates all around you they're waiting to be

seduced' says Hefner by you and me

Where's My Miss Pilgrim?

It's never to be

Wait I see, a shadowy figure in evening clothes

what would it take to wear those?

What would it take, what would it take to catch a fuzzy tailed bunny hey!

DEATH AT DISNEYLAND - (Written by Grant at Disneyland, 1998)

Well c'mon now baby along with me

it's an invitation to a happy dream

we'll swing from vines like Doctor Jones

and stumble through a pirate's bones

But there's a lot of water in this cheery place

and whirlpools follow in the Columbia's wake

shots have been fired in the parking lot,

well it's all just part of Walt's Masonic plot

Death! Death At Disneyland (chorus)

The People Mover's crushed the skull of many a guest

and Space Mountain gives aways free heart attacks

it's a Tragic Kingdom with Fatal Attractions

and Disney always dodges any legal action

But let's face you had a really great day,

up until the point where you wound up dead

"let's drop acid on It's A Small World"

Ok, but don't blame me about your spinal chord

Go!

chorus

Well I'm just waiting standing here,

waiting in line to die

on the Materhorn and the Rocket Rod

waiting in line to die, to die.

Oh well c'mon now baby along with me

it's an invitation to a happy dream

we'll slide down a mountain in a hollow log,

and wind up dead in a murky bog

But I love this place and all it gives,

a magical place full of mysteries

and if you don't want to die meet me at my favourite stop

that's the Enchanted Tiki Hut

chorus

Death in Adventureland

Death in Frontierland

Death in Tomorrowland

Death in Disneyland

ROSIE - (written by Dave in 1987, attempted in 1997, then again in 1999)

Rosie, lips of love,

Rosie, hand of fate (chorus

You use our bed as a symbol

Fire and Ice

A war ground for our horizontal pleasure

But it feels so good

You swept the cobwebs from my bwain

tell my mother that he's insane

chorus

We go shopping at Marks and Sparks

but we don't really talk

just for fun I try on a bra

good lord

why won't she laugh?

He's only got one thing on his mind

chorus

Tell me baby will it never end

look to the north

bargaining for your love can be such a drag

but will she give me a signal

I look to the left and you look right

lovers and friends but only at night

chorus

USELESS ROCKER - (written by Dave, 1998)

Useless rocker wish I never saw

the way you tossed that empty

and then called it scenery

Useless rocker in my teenaged years

there were so many others

but then no one like you

but it sort of makes sense

when I think of your parents

are perms hereditary

or only necessary? (chorus)

Whistler weekend on a double date

I couldn't just can't wait

after I saw my mate:

shorts shorts, a tube top and leather jacket

If I wanted that I should have lived without it

chorus

Use! Less! Ooo la oo la la la

Oh when she passed out I headed straight for the phone

and I was hoping Jenny would be home

sometimes it's great to be the Homecoming King and have a Homecoming QUEEN!

Beyond the Squamish Nation,

there lies a sunshine valley

I met a Mountain Mama

And I know she's waiting for me

Useless rocker wish I never saw you.

TEEN MOB! - (written by Grant, 1999)

Twenty dumb kids that are hanging round the parking lot

drinkin malt liquor and smokin'a lot of shitty pot

they're tagging the walls of the 7-E,

and keying the manager's AMC

they're chucking rocks at passing cars

and making rude jokes about your mom!

Teen mob - drinkin lots of hootch

Teen mob - psychos on the loose

Teen mob - lookout baby, the teen gang's getting high and crazy

Now there's thirty bored kids that are hanging round the parking lot

revving to the Donnas on a shitty portable stereo box

they're hotboxing and they're checkin' it out

they're doin' donuts and they're getting loud

they're speed demons bent for breaking the law

and they're making rude jokes about your mom!

Teen mob - drinkin way too fast

Teen mob - psychopalisexualis!

An idle mind is a dangerous thing

especially when you're drunk and seventeen

what is peer pressure anyway

think for yourself and go your own way, go go go go go!

Now there's forty stupid kids that are hanging round the parking lot

the beer's all gone, confiscated by a bunch of shitty cops

that's when he comes by he's only thirteen

attacked by bullies that are drunk and mean,

and just before they knock him out cold

they made another rude joke about his mom

Teen mob - can you explain your hate?

Teen mob - but it feels so great

Lookout loser, the teen gang's putting you in a coma.

SOMEONE - (lyrics by Grant in 1999, music by Nick in 1994)

Low feeling, empty heart

sweet surrender, caught off guard

bad news, first date, tough luck

non-smoker, long walks,

good movies, caught off guard

lousy news, first date, try later

Looking for the right someone

Looking for the good in one

Looking for a one to rock

All I need is someone to talk to (chorus)

Blue eyes, good sunsets,

apprehesion, apparently,

the coffee sucks in Winnipeg

but I wouldn't know

Low feeling, empty heart

sweet surrender, caught off guard,

the hockey game is on TV, can't talk

chorus

DANKO JONES' PANTS - (Written by Grant, Dave, Nick, Beez, Bryce and Graham, on tour 1996)

Danko Jones is coming round and he's bearing down on me

and he ain't got no pants on baby and we've got some explaining to do

the slacks went on a long long journey without their long cool pappy

travelling round all over the States living out a rock n roll dream

in Minneapolis, Berkeley, Cleveland, Detroit

Toronto, Green Bay, and New York City!

We all want to get laid baby and you can't get enough but we can't get it up

(chorus)

Come back, Danko Jones' pants

come back, come back to your man

The pants turned out to be a helpful pair with flat tires and broken gaskets

they could read a map like 1-2-3 and were great on the late night drives

but Danko remained naked from the waist down, at home at Queen and Spadina

hands on his hips cryin' over spilt milk

"those are Danko Jones' pants!"

In Cincinnatti, Tuscaloosa, Chattanooga Tennessee,

Lawrence Kansas, Salt Lake City, Vancouver BC!

chorus

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